Celebrity Spoiler

And like every MLB player…money comes before the game.  (Unless you’re A-Rod..then you want sexy time with Madonna before the game)

Manny Ramirez joined the dark side on Thursday.  No no, he did not join the Yankees…that would be like joining shit. He joined piss instead- Dodgers.  What the f*** was he thinking?  Many a Boston Red Sox Fan is taking off their cap and slamming it on the ground and bursting into tears….

“During my years here I’ve seen how they [the Red Sox] have mistreated other great players when they didn’t want them to try to turn the fans against them,” Ramirez said in an interview with ESPNdeportes.com

“The Red Sox did the same with guys like Nomar Garciaparra and Pedro Martinez, and now they do the same with me. Their goal is to paint me as the bad guy,” Ramirez added. “I love Boston fans, but the Red Sox don’t deserve me. I’m not talking about money. Mental peace has no price and I don’t have peace here.”

Holy hell.  He just dissed the Red Sox. What the eff are we going to do now? Mayhem I tell you, mayhem.  So Jason Bay is going to step into the picture..let’s see what he’s capable of.  And stop bitching Manny, the Red Sox made your ass…(no not the Cleveland Indians).

This makes me mad and all… but what breaks my heart is Big Papi crying.  I love you!!!

Why is this girl on the cover of Elle?

What is this crappy cover? That doesn’t even look like her…then again who’d want the real Jessica Simpson? Here’s an idiotic quote:

On her life changing incident:
“I was singing ‘9 to 5’ and I choked and forgot the words in front of the president and in front of Dolly Parton, who’s like the president to me. And the last time I sang in front of the president , I had messed up the lyrics to ‘God Bless America’ so its kind of a thing I have with George W. Anyway, I broke down and said I’m sorry in front of the whole audience. My dad was there. I looked him in the face and said, ‘I will never sing again.”

Dolly Parton? Are you shitting me? She’s probably the only country singer you know Jessica.

On her rocky love life:
“I was going through a lot of pain. I didn’t try anything to change my life other than dating different types of guys and conforming to their worlds. I thought I had to be artsier, more intellectual.”

You thought wrong…wait..you think? Your micro-sized cerebrum actually allows you to think? Jessica Simpson is just a washed up pair of torn jeans in the back of my closet

Lindsay Lohan‘s Labor Pains co-star Jay Thomas (who, if you’re remotely my age or older, you might remember from such 80s classic sitcoms as Murphy Brown or Cheers) gave Linds a glowing on-set review.

According to Thomas, "She was perfect. And she’s a really good actress. I’m not just saying that because of the movie, but she really happens to be talented, and it looks like she’s OK now."

At this point, as long as Lindsay’s not actually pregnant and/or snorting lines of Comet, everybody’s happy. And seriously, Samantha Ronson‘s hair looks way better than it used to.

The former Baywatch star performed a burlesque act the other day with Les Femmes Cheries at the Plush Lounge at the Key Club in Hollywood.

I seriously never thought Carmen Electra would still be doing things these days. Girlfriend has made a career out of silicone, false eyelashes and pole dancing, but has managed to do it in such a way as to keep me from disliking her.

Carmen never hurt anybody! Except maybe Dennis Rodman, but he was probably asking for it. Also, I hear she throws a mean BBQ.

Katie Price, tastemaker, triumphant litigant and prolific pretend author, has launched a line of bedding the pattern for which it looks like must have taken an hour to design, if that.

I’m guessing she’s showcasing her most impressive design, which features a black background with a series of hearts in various shapes and sizes. I know this is wrong, but I have a feeling her son Harvey might have come up with this particular pattern on his own, using a Microsoft Paint program from the 90s.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’d really like to take a black light to those sheets. I have a feeling that might expose something far more interesting and revealing than these dopey hearts.

In my opinion, few things are more annoying than family drama.

And I can totally feel where Christian Bale is coming from. I remember a certain Christmas where a certain family member managed to get themselves locked up over an altercation with a certain ex-spouse (not naming any names to prevent further family drama of which I would be the subject) and couldn’t make it to a family event and we all had to pretend said individual had to work the day of the party so my grandmother wouldn’t find out.

Needless to say, the fact that Bale has to travel and promote the hell out The Dark Knight while all of this brouhaha went down seems pretty annoyance-inducing to me. I hate traveling and family drama and this picture illustrates the combination of both. I feel for ya, Christian. I really do.

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m very happy to see that Janice Dickinson is the one behind the wheel of this SUV and not her notoriously gas pedal-happy manager.

For those of you who don’t recognize the crazy-eyed blonde in the passenger seat, it’s none other than publicist turned manager Lizzie Grubman. She’s the maniac who ploughed through a gang of people outside a Hamptons nightclub way back in 2001.

You can see another client of Lizzie’s, Sean Steart, with Janice in one of these pics as they leave the Ivy. According to Page Six, Grubman is "co-manager" of Sean, Janice as well as Shanna Moakler. Yeah, she’s doing a great job of keeping her clients in check.

I really wonder if someone who has worse judgment than Janice should really be allowed to steer what’s left of her career. Quite frankly, I’m just shocked Janice was able to find someone with worse judgment than her. That takes talent.

Soak Up The Sun" singer Sheryl Crow bought a new stroller in which to transport her son Wyatt Steven Crow as she walked him around SoHo, enjoying the fair summer weather. Crow was out and about with a bunch of friends as they went shopping and I’m assuming someone in the bunch is the nanny, but I don’t know, I could see Sheryl being very hands-on and not having one at all. So, who knows.

All I know is that seeing Sheryl pushing her son in a stroller has awoken some primal instincts inside me as a grown woman of certain age that I never would have thought I possessed–and they of course involve me getting pushed around in a stroller on shopping trips.

Snoop Dogg, the celebrity hip hop singer, has teamed up with Akshay Kumar, a Bollywood actor, to record the title track for Akshay’s new movie, “Singh is Kinng.”

Snoop Dogg will wear a traditional sardar style costume. The producer of the music video, Vipul A. Shah, said that Snoop Dogg hopes to break into the lucrative Indian movie industry.

Vipul Shah said that the title song will combine two different styles of music. Snoop’s signature hip hop will be mixed with Akshay’s Bhangra style. Shah said that it will be exciting as these two celebrities have different chemistries.

Snoop Dogg has ventured into different styles of music. In June this year, he recorded “My Medicine”, which was a country song

Update: Just heard back from a Disney rep regarding Miley Cyrus and talk about the end of Hannah Montana.

Miley said it best when she said she’s delighted to be part of the Disney family,” the rep wrote in an email. “We start production on the third season of Hannah Montana on August 4 and have an option for a fourth season beyond that. We look forward to the Hannah Montana feature film coming to a theatre near you in Spring 2009.”

Miley Cyrus may be getting ready to say goodbye to Hannah Montana. Or at least she’s thinking about it.

The 15-year-old superstar feels the time may be right for her hit Disney Channel series to come to an end.

“We’re thinking this is our last season,” Cyrus tells me.

Mickey Mouse execs announced in April that Hannah Montana had been renewed for a third season.

But Cyrus explained in an interview Monday morning that she’s been working on the show longer than most people realize. She was 11 when it all began. She turns 16 in November.

“I just think we did a lot of episodes,” she says. “We basically did two seasons in one last year. Usually people would do one season that would be, like, 16 episodes, and we did almost 30 episodes!”

Adds Cyrus, “It seems like it’s been on, like, longer.”

As much as Cyrus may be thinking about parting ways with her alter ego, she insists any talk that she’s trying to distance herself from Disney—or what she calls her “family”—is hogwash. “I’m still with my family,” she says. “You know, they’re safe. They always feel like home. And that’s what I love about the company. They are family.”

Cyrus’ rep also quickly clarifies the starlet’s talk about the end of Hannah Montana. “We do not know if this is the last season,” the rep says.

There’s more about Miley to come. Make sure to read later when I reveal what she has to say about her Sweet 16, going to college and what you should—and should not—expect when she hosts this Sunday’s Teen Awards.